Here’s a stat that might surprise you: according to the National Association of Realtors, more than a third of Gen Z homebuyers received a cash gift from family members to help fund their down payment. Another 16% used inheritance money. When you add in family loans and parents co-signing, nearly half of today’s youngest buyers had some form of family financial help buying a home.
If you’re in your twenties or early thirties and dreaming of homeownership but struggling to see how the math works, you’re not alone. And if you’ve thought about asking your parents or grandparents for help but don’t know how to bring it up — this post is for you.
First, Let’s Normalize Getting Help Buying a Home
There’s a stigma around asking family for help buying a home, and I think it’s completely misplaced. The housing market today is nothing like what your parents or grandparents experienced. When many baby boomers bought their first homes in the 1970s and ’80s, the median home price was a fraction of what it is now relative to income. A 20% down payment on a Sacramento home at today’s median of $535,000 is over $107,000. That’s not a number most 25-year-olds can save on their own — especially while paying Sacramento rents that average $1,600-$2,200 per month.
The reality is that the path to homeownership has fundamentally changed, and family help isn’t a crutch — it’s a strategy. One that NAR data shows is becoming the norm rather than the exception for younger buyers.
And here’s the bigger picture: this family help isn’t happening in a vacuum. It’s part of something economists call the Great Wealth Transfer.
The Great Wealth Transfer: $124 Trillion Is Changing Hands
Baby boomers are the wealthiest generation in American history. They hold roughly $85 trillion in assets — about half of everything Americans own. And as boomers move through their 70s and 80s, that wealth is starting to flow to their children and grandchildren at an unprecedented scale.
Cerulli Associates estimates that $124 trillion will change hands by 2048, with approximately $100 trillion flowing from baby boomers and the Silent Generation to Gen X, millennial, and Gen Z heirs. That’s the largest intergenerational transfer of wealth in history.
But here’s what makes this especially relevant right now: many boomers aren’t waiting until they pass away to share their wealth. The trend of “giving while living” is accelerating. Parents and grandparents increasingly want to see their children benefit from family wealth now. Why wait for a will when the help can make the biggest difference today?
And what makes a bigger difference in a young person’s financial life than helping them buy their first home? According to NAR, delaying homeownership from age 30 to 40 can cost roughly $150,000 in lost equity. A gift that helps someone buy five or ten years earlier doesn’t just help with a down payment — it fundamentally changes their wealth trajectory.
Why This Matters in Sacramento
In Sacramento, a first-time buyer looking at homes in the $450,000-$550,000 range needs roughly $15,000-$20,000 for a down payment with an FHA loan, or $22,000-$27,000 for a conventional loan with 5% down. Add in closing costs, and you’re looking at $25,000-$40,000 to get into a home.
For a Gen Z buyer earning $55,000-$75,000 per year while paying rent, saving that amount can take years — years during which home prices continue to appreciate and the homeownership wealth gap grows wider. Meanwhile, many of their boomer parents and grandparents have home equity and retirement savings that could make an immediate impact.
The math is simple: a $30,000 gift from a parent today could help a 27-year-old buy a home that appreciates $15,000-$20,000 per year in a healthy Sacramento market. Over ten years, that’s $150,000-$200,000 in equity — wealth that wouldn’t exist without that initial boost.
How to Bring It Up With Your Family
This is the part nobody teaches you. You know you could use the help. You suspect your parents or grandparents might be willing. But how do you actually start that conversation without it feeling awkward, entitled, or uncomfortable?
Here are some approaches I’ve seen work well with my clients:
Lead with research, not a request. Don’t open with “Can you give me money?” Instead, start a conversation about the housing market. Share what you’ve learned about home prices, down payment requirements, and how the market has changed since they bought their first home. Many boomer parents genuinely don’t realize how different things are today. When they bought their first home, a median house cost two to three times the median income. Today it’s five to seven times.
Frame it as an investment in your future, not a handout. You might say something like: “I’ve been researching homeownership and I’m realizing how much long-term wealth it builds. I’m trying to figure out how to make it work, and I’d love your advice on the financial side.” This opens the door without putting anyone on the spot. Often, parents will offer help once they understand the gap between what you can save and what you need.
Bring real numbers. Do your homework first. Know what homes cost in the neighborhoods you’re looking at and what your monthly payment would be. Know what you’ve saved and what the gap is. When you come to the table with specifics, it shows maturity and seriousness — and makes it much easier for a parent to say yes.
How to Keep the Conversation Comfortable
Talk about the wealth transfer conversation openly. More families are having these discussions proactively. You could share an article about the Great Wealth Transfer and say: “I read that many families are choosing to help their kids buy homes now rather than waiting. Would you be open to talking about whether that’s something that makes sense for our family?”
Discuss the structure, not just the amount. Family financial help can take many forms, and talking about structure shows respect for everyone’s situation. Options include an outright gift, a family loan with agreed-upon terms, or a co-signed mortgage. Some families even buy an investment property that the child rents with an option to purchase later
Acknowledge that it’s a big ask. Honesty goes a long way. Something as simple as “I know this is a big conversation, and I don’t take it lightly”. This shows your family that you’re approaching this with gratitude, not entitlement.
What Parents and Grandparents Should Know
If you’re a boomer reading this — maybe your child sent it (smart kid) — here are a few things worth considering:
The tax rules are on your side. In 2026, you can gift up to $19,000 per person per year (or $38,000 as a married couple) without any tax reporting. The lifetime gift tax exemption is $15 million per person. Unless you’re transferring truly massive sums, gift taxes aren’t a practical concern for most families.
Lenders have specific rules about gift funds. If you’re giving money for a down payment, the lender will require a gift letter stating that the funds are a gift and no repayment is expected. This is standard and your child’s loan officer will walk you through it. It’s simple paperwork.
Giving now lets you see the impact. One of the most rewarding things I witness in my business is a parent watching their child get the keys to their first home. Many of my older clients tell me they’d rather see their children enjoy the money now than leave it all to an estate plan. Many young people prefer getting help buying a home than funds for a wedding these days.
Consider fairness across siblings. If you have multiple children, think about how helping one with a home purchase fits into the bigger picture. Many families set a dollar amount per child and let each use it as they see fit. One might use it for a down payment, another for paying off student loans. Open communication prevents resentment.
The Bottom Line
Asking family for help buying a home isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a sign that you understand today’s housing market and you’re being strategic about building wealth. With baby boomers holding $85 trillion in assets and the Great Wealth Transfer already underway, family financial help for homeownership is becoming one of the most common and impactful ways that wealth moves between generations.
If you’re a Gen Z or millennial buyer in Sacramento wondering how to make homeownership work, start the conversation with your family. Come prepared with numbers, lead with gratitude, and remember that for many parents and grandparents, helping you buy a home is one of the most meaningful financial gifts they can give.
And if you need help figuring out what to bring to that conversation — what homes cost, what your monthly payment would look like, what programs are available — that’s exactly what I’m here for.
Thinking about buying your first home in Sacramento? Whether you have family help buying a home or you’re doing it on your own, I offer a free consultation to help you map out your path to homeownership. Let’s talk.
Sources:
Katie Butler is a Sacramento Realtor with over 12 years of experience specializing in the Pocket-Greenhaven, Land Park, South Land Park, Curtis Park, East Sacramento and West Sacramento neighborhoods. She leads Katie Butler Real Estate with Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate. She bought her first home at 27 — and it remains one of her proudest accomplishments.